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Winter Wonderland

Dec. 31st, 2020

11:32 pm - Friends Only!


Sorry Friends Only

Dec. 30th, 2020

02:54 pm - To Help Clarify For New Friends

It's really easy to get confused and befuddled with all the nicknames I use. I figured it would help if I put a key here so you can tell who's who.

gaerfindel -My Soul mate:Katydid's Father, for all purpose The Gnomes Father in all ways except biological

C4 -My oldest Son, 17 on July 10 and is in 12th grade:He lives with his Father

The Gnome -My youngest Son 6 on Aug. 23:His biological Father is Poppy

Katydid -My beautiful Daughter 5 on Sept. 27:My budding little witch

Gir -My work colleague.

Sage -My first husband and soon to be ex:C4's Father

Grandma -The kids Grandmother:Gaerfindel's Mom and my MIL

Grandme're- my mom

Poppy/Sperm Donor -The Gnome's biological Father:He sees him every other weekend, currently we are not getting along so I went back to calling him the Sperm Donor.


Zombie J. -A long time friend who is now living with us. I have become his health proxy and am helping him to rediscover what it is like to love yourself. He is also on a journey to find himself.

Thor- My ex boss and a great friend.

butterbeers -A long time friend on LJ, now a friend in real life:Nickname Crunchy

J.R. -Blessed wonderful husband:Friends with Gaerfie

Lev -Blessed and J.R.'s little boy:We were pregnant at the same time with the boys and met in a community.

Bubbie -A good friend and the kids Goddess Mother:She plays Dungeon and Dragons with us

Commander J. -Bubbie's Son and a friend of C4's:He plays D&D also

Hunter -A friend of C4's from school:He plays D&D with us

Kitty- An ex-friend and ex-housemate who I mention from time to time

Well I think that's it. I hope this has helped clarify things. From time to time when I meet new people I add names to the list if they are going to be around for a while. I try and update as often as I can. If you have any other questions please comment below. Thanks.

Current Location: My Claified Heart
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Ten Thousand Fists- Disturbed

Apr. 27th, 2010

03:33 pm - He Has Liver Damage

I guess his appointment didn't go so well. Liver damage. Possibly from the high volume of Trileptol he takes. May be it's even from the generic shit. We don't know how bad the damage is either. I want to know if his blood work brought that up then how did the ER not know about it? Or did they and just didn't care. I don't know . I am a wreck right now. I don't know what to do. What if he dies? Liver failure is way more dangerous then a seizure any day. I'm so scared. The worst part is I have no one to really talk to about it. I have no close friends who can be with me when I need them. I'm not even sure if I should call Mitsuki or not. Will it really make a difference? I feel so alone right now. Now all the stupid fights seem even more worthless then before. I might be wasting precious time with him. We wanted to have another baby in the future. Now what? Is there a future? How long will it be? Is liver damage reversible? Will we ever be the same again?

Current Location: My Empty Heart
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Cars Going By

Apr. 15th, 2010

11:32 pm - Cherish Your Children

I just wanted to leave a final post before bed. Today on the train I grabbed a Daily News that someone left and i found out some horrifying facts.

10 children under the age of five have been killed in the five boroughs of NYC in the last five weeks! The one highlighted this week was the murder of a 7 month old by his Father. His reason, the child was crying too much for his Mom. It seems he preferred Mom over Dad. He punched the baby in the stomach and collapsed his lungs immediately! Then the bastard said the kid fell while he was feeding him. Yeah and you caught him with your fist which was imprinter down to the knuckles on his little chest!

The list of other children were mostly shaken baby syndrome by babysitters or guardians. I dropped the paper and hugged my little boy so tightly. I can't imagine getting so angry at a child you would do something like that. One of the poor children survived and now has permanent brain damage.

It's just so sad and make me so angry!!!

Current Location: My Had Enough Heart
Current Mood: enragedenraged
Current Music: As It Happens-Talk Show 102.10 N.P.R.

Apr. 11th, 2010

11:00 am - Writer's Block: Back to the future

If you were 12 and could see yourself now, do you think you'd be happy or disappointed, and why?

I think I would mostly be disappointed. I would have seen what failing high school got me. I think I would have been happy to see myself with someone like Gaerfie, but not unemployed with no car and no real way to take care of my family. I would be happy I had children, but not that one of them didn't live with me. I would also be upset that I didn't have decent circle of friends. I was always popular up until Jr. high school and was surrounded by friends. I would be happy I had a few close ones, but not happy they didn't live near by.

I had a fifties mentality of life when I was younger. I wanted the house, two kids boy and girl, car, white picket fence and a husband that did the 9-5. The only difference is I wanted to be a pastry chef and have my own bake shop.

Current Music: Prasie You-Fat Boy Slim

Mar. 25th, 2010

11:20 am - New To School

Hi everyone, I just started school this month. I am going for my Associates degree and eventually want to be a guidance counselor. I am enjoying my classes so far. Finding time to do all the reading is hard without a printer. I am lucky though since my computer is new (the old one got smacked with a huge virus) I have had no problems so far.

I have a really nice enrollment and academic adviser and I feel like I can ask them anything. All right that's it. Have a great day at school. ^-^

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: St. Jimmy-Greenday

Mar. 24th, 2010

12:10 pm - Don't Treat Me Bad

I never thought you'd hurt me
I guess you live and learn
that when you're playin' with fire
you're bound to get burned
I've been mistreated
I've been used before
I get kicked in the face
still I come back for more

But I won't cry no more
'cause the tears are all in vain
We can pick up the pieces
and start it all again
Let's just get back
to the way it was before
Oh girl I can't take anymore

Baby, don't treat me bad
Well this could be the best thing
that you'll ever have
Baby, don't treat me bad
Well you can do anything
but baby, don't treat me bad
Oh, don't treat me bad

I gave it everything
but you threw it all away
I can't take anymore
of these games that you play
I've been through heartache
and I've been through pain
And it's hard to believe
you still treat me this way

But I won't cry no more
'cause the tears are all in vain
We can pick up the pieces
and start it all again
Let's just get back
to the way it was before
Oh girl I can't take anymore



Oh girl, I can't take anymore
Oh yeah


Now listen to me
Baby, don't treat me bad
Well this could be the best thing
that you'll ever have
Baby, don't treat me bad
Well you can do anything
but baby, don't treat me bad

No, don't treat me bad
Don't treat me bad
Don't treat me bad
Oh oh, oh oh oh

Tags: , ,
Current Location: My Heart On Fire
Current Mood: lonelyHurt
Current Music: Don't treat Me Bad-Firehouse

Jan. 13th, 2010

07:56 pm - Blast From The Past


LiveJournal Username
Do you watch anime?
Do you speak Japanese?
Do you read Japanese?
What if LiveJournal were an anime?
Pick a Beach Boys song.
The performer of the opening themelipstickgirl_2
The magical girlpuggy
The talking animalbaileywicked
The lecherous old manmac_arthur_park
The teenager who uses ancient magic to win gamesnarcismx
The fifteen-year-old Japanese girl with blond hair and a D cupmitsuki_chi
Number of seasons it would last38,852
Fun Quizzes by Elizabeth at BlogQuiz.Net
All the latest Music News at NewsDump

Current Mood: amusedamused

12:25 pm - I Am Worthless

No money, no job, no car, nothing but a family i can't even support. I am worthless and have no right to exist on this earth.

Current Mood: crushedcrushed

Jan. 7th, 2010

09:01 pm - Gaerfie's Doing Better

Gaerfie's home now. He fractured his nose lightly when he fell. They said it was medicine withdrawal but I don't buy it. He's had the same problems before and it just made him have a partial seizure not a gran mal. I think this was building up and it may explain the anger and frustration he was letting off. Tomorrow I have to fight with MVP to let him see his new Neuro. he needs a referral and we can't find a new PCP before the 19th when his appointment is. I am not putting up with that shit I tell you what! Alright I am tired so I am calling it a night. Thanks you for all your hugs, prayers, and support. We appreciate it and love you all for it. :)

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted

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